ALifeLustWinter

It's been a long, long time but I suppose that comes with the territory. I can't lie and say it's all been easy but it hasn't been awful either. While christmas always seems to be a sad time of year for me, I love the snowfall and harsh beauty it affords and the newness that follows with spring. I love it because even though it seems like a cold,white wasteland, I know that underneath, everything is changing. So I embrace winters kiss and its changes. Because I know Spring is coming.

I'm finding the same changes going on too. I'm growing up a little more, becoming more and more comfortable in my own skin and being bad. Not bad in a tawdry way but bad in the sense that I'm fully aware and connected with myself emotionally and physically and in that awareness I am completely uninhibited and shameless. I AM. It's a beautiful, scary thing when I woman is absolutely at peace with herself and everything else because you can see that twinkle in her eyes and the glow coming from her and it makes you want to be apart of it. At least I think so.

So it's not like, I'm suddenly one with the universe. I'm still growing and changing and shoving my inner Bad Girl in the corner so my Good Girl can take control. But really, my Good Girl was formed by other people's opinions on who I should be and how I should act. My Good Girl is a clever ruse to fool everyone around me. She's not real. And really, being a good girl means being a BORED girl. And frankly, I'm TIRED of being a bored Good Girl. So Bad Girl is coming out to play. Like I said, I'm still growing and changing but as long as I am content in the knowledge that I am beautiful, shameless, fierce, wild and passionate as a woman, then my Bad Girl has finally risen to the fore and I am alive. It's a good feeling. Hvae you let your Bad Girl out?

Seattle.

Yes, Seattle. My cousins are really really excited for me to move over, I've made new friends over there that are really amazing and wickedly fun and my uncle is even considering letting me rent his house for less than he is currently asking. I really hope this pans out because I ADORE that house. It's the kind of house my dear Red would love to take pictures of. It's an old three story on a parcel of land amidst the new condo's and apartments going up. But it's been another home for twenty years of my life and I want to keep it that way. It's basically three apartments in one, minus the fact that it only has one bathroom. It's pretty close to anything you want to see or do and it's in a quiet, safe neighbourhood. Its beautiful. Needs to have its paint job finished but that can be done anytime. And I dare say I'd have a grand time redecorating and remodeling.

So the countdown begins. December 25th, 2010 I will be in this house. Or at the very least, IN Seattle, starting a new life, a new chapter.

ALifeLustWinter.

xoxo,
K